Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Under A Paper Moon

I have found myself. Most may disagree. Most may disapprove. But it's not what they think that matters. My own judgement of myself is what really matters here. I've been a shitty person for practically all my life. I've had so many regrets and mistakes and I've made really stupid decisions. I have come so far and I've went through so many broken relationships with people. Most have not ended well and I'm still on the verge of punching myself whenever I think about the things I've done, and if only I had a time machine, I would deffo change everything. But no. That's not how life is. You have to live with that aching feeling in the chest, that lump in your throat that you can't manage to swallow in, because of all the holes that you yourself have made in your life. Thinking it was "cool" before. Thinking it was for the "best" of everybody. Shit.

I've become not-so-trusting with other people now. And I'm just so pissed when I see fake people pretending they shine brighter than the rest of us. I've had enough of that bullshit attitude I'm seeing all over. I'm also tired of putting up with shit. Pretending that I care when I actually don't. I may sound really pessimistic right now but that's how I really feel. I'm not a pessimist, mind you. I've just had a big change of point of views in life.. from sunshine girl to a realist. 

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